Dirty Little Secret
by Doctor Addison Montgomery
Summary: ZainSuzie. SamPhil. One night after too much to drink they sleep together but they decide to remain friends. Two months down the line Suzie finds out that she is pregnant. What will she do? Please review! Now with more SP!
1. The Influence of Alcohol

**Dirty Little Secret  
****Chapter 1: The Influence of Alcohol**

**Summary: _ZainSuzie._ One night after too much to drink they sleep together but they decide to remain friends. Two months down the line Suzie finds out that she is pregnant. What will she do and what will she tell Zain?  
****Thanks to Leanne for encouraging me to write this!  
The lyrics used throughout this are from 'Dirty Little Secret' by All-American Rejects!  
****Please review! Vikki xx.**

_Let me know that I've done wrong  
__When I've known this all along  
__I go around a time or two  
__Just to waste my time with you._

"What a day!" Zain sighed, sitting down at his desk and putting his head in his hands.

"Are you okay Zain?" Suzie asked, walking by and putting her hand on his shoulder in a friendly gesture.

Zain looked up and smiled briefly at her. Suzie's coffee brown eyes showed concern and something else that Zain couldn't quite distinguish. For a moment the ups and downs of the day seemed to disappear as he stared deep into Suzie's eyes. He could feel himself falling and knew he had to focus. He didn't even know if Suzie felt anything for him and he wasn't about to throw their friendship away.

"I'm fine, it's just been one hell of a day." Zain said, still not breaking eye contact with Suzie as he spoke.

Her face relaxed into a smile as she sank down into the nearest chair. "Tell me about it!"

"Anyone fancy going out for a drink?" Phil Hunter asked, coming back from the DI's office.

"Thought you'd never ask! Where are we going?" Zain asked.

"Canley Arms, about 7?" Phil replied.

"Sounds good to me." Zain said, then he turned back to Suzie. "Are you going to come Suze?"

She smiled at him. "Yeah, I'll be there."

Zain smiled too. While neither of them were looking Phil rolled his eyes and smiled to himself.

* * *

Suzie looked at her watch before taking it off and placing it with her necklace and bracelet that she had been wearing with her suit all day. It was already six o'clock and she was supposed to be at the pub for seven. There was a downside to being one of the only female colleagues out of a group dominated by men. Suzie undressed and slipped into the shower, she felt better as the steaming hot water cascaded over her tired body. Fifteen minutes later when she stepped out of the shower she felt revitalised. She wrapped a towel around her body and another, smaller one around her wet hair. Suzie dried herself and put her dressing gown on before searching through her wardrobe for something to wear. She eventually decided on a pair of dark blue jeans and a black halterneck top, then she quickly dried her long hair and put her jewellery back on. Hopefully if the traffic was on her side she would be at the pub by seven o'clock.

* * *

It was a warm summer evening so after taking a quick bath Zain hung his pink shirt and black suit up and put on a black shirt and blue jeans on. He was in serious need of a drink after the day he had had and he hoped they wouldn't have to talk about work too much. Zain was glad that Suzie was coming along too, he knew it was hard for her being one of the only three women in their shift at Sun Hill CID now that Jo was away and Ramani had transferred out.

* * *

Zain met Suzie outside the pub and they walked in together. Until they found the others it almost like they were out on a date together. Zain couldn't deny how pretty Suzie looked tonight and told her so but he knew he had to stop thinking of her like this although he was finding it hard.

"First round is on me." Phil said as they took their seats at the table with Terry, Mickey, Neil, Sam, Stuart and Kezia.

"What are you having?" Phil asked, going round the table to everyone in turn.

"Lager please." Zain replied when it was his turn.

"Vodka and coke thanks Phil."

Zain tried not to look surprised, the most he had ever seen her drink was two glasses of wine at the previous Christmas party. As they talked and drank Suzie was aware of Zain's eyes on her and she gradually inched closer and closer to him.

"I think I'm going to call it a night." Sam said after her second drink. Neil, Kezia and Stuart had already left and Terry and Mickey were thinking of leaving too. This left Suzie, Zain and Phil still at the table and Phil was fully aware of the meaning 'three's a crowd'.

"See you two tomorrow." Phil said with a wink. Suzie and Zain said their goodbyes to him and then she got up to leave too. Zain was disappointed he had hoped to spend a bit more time alone with her.

"Aww, stay for one more drink Suze."

Suzie didn't need much persuading to stay.

"Just one more then." She laughed, the alcohol was loosening her up and releasing her inhibitions. Zain came back with their drinks and they sat together and talked for a while.

* * *

"I really should be getting home." Suzie said, draining the last of her drink and standing up. Zain stood up too, just as Suzie stumbled in her heels. He caught her in his arms before trying to laugh it off as he lead her outside.

"I think driving my car might be a bad idea." Suzie said, once they'd made it outside into the balmy night air.

"I'll call us a taxi." Zain smiled, pulling his mobile out and dialling the familiar number of the cab firm. When he had finished the call he turned to Suzie.

"It'll be about ten minutes." He said.

"Okay, thanks." Suzie smiled.

"No problem." Zain replied. "As long as you can cope with another ten minutes of being alone with me."

"I'm sure I'll manage." Suzie smirked, taking a step forward to close the gap between them. She took his face in her hands and began to kiss him, surprising herself as she made the first move. Zain held her by the shoulders and then let his hands move down to her waist. He pulled her close to him and kissed her hungrily. The taxi arrived all too soon and they got in. The ride seemed to take forever but eventually they were dropped off at Zain's house.

As soon as they were in through the front door they began to kiss again, more passionately this time and with more urgency. Zain pressed Suzie against the wall and began to kiss her throat and then down her neck whilst she raked her hands through his thick, dark hair. As she pressed her body against his, Zain began to lead her up to his bedroom. One piece of clothing being discarded after another as they made their way upstairs.

_I'll keep you my dirty little secret  
Who has to know?_


	2. Here and Now

**Dirty Little Secret  
Chapter 2: Here and Now**

**Thanks to: Leanne, Zoe, Lornz, Jessica, Emma and Bex, and especially Mel and Sarah because your reviews really made me smile!  
I'm not too happy with this chapter so your feedback would be great! please review!  
Vikki xxx.**

**

* * *

**

Suzie woke up to find her head pounding with the beginning of a hangover that would probably stay with her all day. She also found herself lying next to Zain's sleeping form, her head resting against his muscular chest. She smiled to herself as she remembered the events of the night before that had lead them to the here and now. Zain stirred in his sleep beside her and slowly began to wake up. It was still early but Suzie was a morning person. He smiled too when he saw Suzie laying next to him in his bed. Zain was so glad that the night before had happened and wasn't just a dream or a cruel trick of his imagination.

"Good morning." He grinned, bringing his hand up to touch Suzie's face, stroking her cheek with his thumb.

"Hey." She smiled back, placing her hand over Zain's larger one. Suzie moved closer to Zain, kissing his lips gently. Zain responded to the kiss, pulling Suzie back into his arms as he deepended the kiss. He pressed his lips harder against Suzie's, making her moan softly in response. In one movement, Zain moved so he was on top of her and they made love once more.

* * *

"Are you okay babe? You've been really quiet the whole way here." Zain commented as he pulled up outside Suzie's flat. 

"I'm fine." Suzie smiled, placing her hand on the door handle so that she could get out but Zain's next words stopped her dead.

"Do you regret what happened between us?" He asked her.

"No, of course not." Suzie said, looking out of the window so that she wouldn't have to look Zain in the eye as she spoke. "I just need some time alone to think things through. I'll see you at work."

"Okay, see you later." Zain said, trying to hide how deflated he felt. He drove to work but his mind wasn't on his driving, he was thinking about Suzie. Zain hated to think that Suzie viewed the previous night as a mistake. He had wanted it to happen more than anything and he hated expected her to react the way she had done. Maybe he had been misinterpreting the signals he had been getting from her. Zain knew how important Suzie's work was to her and that she always had to put her job first but he thought that things could be different this time. Zain's thoughts still weren't focused when he arrived at work.

"Do you think Suzie overslept?" Phil Hunter asked as he walked passed Zain's desk on the way to his own. Zain flinched but recovered before he spoke. He laughed lightly.

"There's always a first time for everything." He thought how ironic the double meaning of his words were.

Phil picked up on the tension there but dismissed it. He was certain that if there was any gossip to be known, he would find out soon enough.

* * *

Suzie stood under the spray of the shower but it did very little to ease her hangover or wash away the feelings of guilt and confusion. She wasn't quite sure what she wanted from Zain. A drunken one night stand was one thing but where did they go from here? Suzie wasn't sure if she wanted a relationship right now or if she was even ready for one. Especially with someone she worked with which could make things even more awkward. Everyone knew that it was impossible to keep secrets in a place like Sun Hill. Sighing, Suzie climbed out of the shower and went off in search of a clean suit.

* * *

Suzie Sim walked through the double doors of CID and nearly straight into Zain Nadir. He caught her in his arms and helped her to keep her balance. 

"Thanks." She muttered, trying to stop the blush reaching her cheeks.

"No problem." Zain smiled. "Phil and I are just headed out on a case, see you later."

"Yeah, see ya." She replied, but just as he was about to walk off she stopped him. "Zain, we need to talk about the...um...thing."

Zain nodded. "Yeah we do." He said seriously.

Phil, who had watched the entire exchange, raised his eyebrows suspiciously.

"The thing?" He asked as they headed out of the building.

"Yeah." Zain nodded, like it was obvious. "The thing."

* * *

"Are you alright Suze?" Sam Nixon asked for the third time in a very short period of time. She could tell that something was up with her female colleague but she wasn't quite sure what. 

"Yeah thanks Serge." Suzie replied.

"C'mon Suzie, if something is bothering you, you can talk to me as a friend." Sam told her.

Suzie smiled. "Thanks Sam but everything is okay." Noticing that Sam looked sceptical she added. "Honestly."


	3. Walking Away

**Dirty Little Secret  
Chapter 3: Walking Away**

**Thanks for all the reviews so far, glad you're liking it! Please review this chapter! I'll try and update a bit sooner next time! Vikki x x x.**_

* * *

_

Tell me all that you've thrown away  
_Find out games you don't want to play  
__You are the only one that needs to know_

At end of the working day Phil was clearing his desk when Sam walked into the room.

"You heading off for the day?" Sam asked.

Phil nodded. "Yeah, what time do you finish?"

"Not until nine." Sam sighed. "Anyway, could you do me a favour and put that on the DI's desk on your way out?"

"Sure." Phil replied with a smile, their fingers brushing slightly as he took the pink foolscap folder from her outstretched hand. Phil had to mentally stop himself from doing things like this, Sam was with Stuart now and they couldn't flirt openly anymore.

"Thanks Phil." She smiled. He began to head out of the building when he stopped and turned to face her again.

"Samantha, seeing as I'm doing such a big favour for you." He said, mimicking Stuart with his voice, it still made Sam laugh.

"Yes Philip." She replied, humouring him.

"I was thinking you could do me a favour in return."

Sam raised her eyebrows and waited for him to continue.

"You were working with Suzie today, right?" When Sam nodded he continued. "Was she okay? I mean did she seem a little distracted?"

"I don't know...she seemed a little distant...but why?"

Phil frowned. "I was working with Zain and he was acting like that too. When I left the pub last night they looked like they were getting pretty cosy."

Sam raised her eyebrows again but this time for a different reason.

"You don't think..."

Phil nodded. "We all know what a little alcohol can do..." He left the comment hanging. "Goodnight Sam."

"See ya Phil." Sam said, before letting out a sigh and sinking down into the swivel chair before turning her attention to the computer screen.

* * *

Suzie had chosen a small, twenty four hour, café just off Canley High Street for her and Zain to meet after work. The menu was mainly made up of fry ups, baguettes and various Italian coffees. Not a drop of alcohol in sight. This was comforting to Suzie after the previous night. She was there five minutes before she and Zain had decided to meet. She wanted to prepared and mentally she kept reciting what she was going to say to him. Absently mindedly Suzie twisted her loose, dark hair around her index finger as she waited. She was more nervous than she needed to be but this wasn't just a one night stand with just any man, Zain was a friend and she had to work with him on a day to day basis.

* * *

Zain walked into the cafe just after seven o'clock and spotted Suzie instantly. He made his way over to her table and felt a little uncomfortable about this. Suzie hadn't smiled and waved him over, she looked troubled and about as uncomfortable as he felt.

"Hi." He said, sitting down.

"Hey." Suzie replied.

"How are you?" He asked, hating how awkward this was getting by the second.

"Okay thanks, you?" She replied, so grateful when the waitress walked over and stopped their conversation in it's tracks.

"I'll have a black coffee thanks." Suzie said.

"Me too." Zain echoed.

They sat in silence until the coffee arrived and Suzie didn't speak until the waitress was firmly out of earshot.

"We need to talk about last night."

Zain nodded. "Suze, I want you to know that I don't regret a single thing."

Suzie put a hand up to stop him, hurt showing clearly in her dark eyes.

"Please Zain, please let me speak first. Look, I really like you, as a colleague and a friend, maybe as more than that but we have to think about everything else too. We have to be realistic."

"I know, but we can't..."

"I don't want to lose our friendship Zain, I really value it. I'm not sure if I'm ready for a relationship right now."

Zain nodded slowly. He didn't want to ignore how he felt but if Suzie didn't want the same things as him then he had no choice.

"Okay. It's up to you Suzie but it's got to be all or nothing. We either move forward with this thing or we go back to being friends. It's got to be one or the other."

Suzie looked at him, fighting to meet with his eyes.

"I really am sorry Zain, but right now I just want you in my life as a friend."

She drained her coffee cup and stood up.

"I should go." She said. "Bye Zain."

"See ya Suzie." He said, watching her go. He had no other choice but to let her walk away, however much it hurt them both.

_Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret  
__(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)  
__My dirty little secret  
__Who has to know?_


	4. One Step Too Far

**Dirty Little Secret  
Chapter 4 : One Step Too Far**

**Thanks to all my reviewers!  
Sorry for not updating very regularly! I would say I'll try and update sooner next time but I have so much work and essays on at the moment! Hopefully I'll be able to get some more writing done over half term!  
Please review this chapter! 10 points to anyone who can find the CSI quote hehe!  
Vikki xx

* * *

**

"Get out!" She screamed at him. "Get out of my house!"

She threw his last box at him and slammed the front door after him before sinking to the floor in floods of tears. Letting him into her life and into her home had been a big step and it turned out to be one step too far. As he tears began to abate a little she pushed herself up off her feet from where she had been leaning against the door and went to make herself a cup of tea. Everywhere in the house still smelt of him so she went round opening windows and spraying her perfume liberally.

He was gone now, he was out of her system. She thought this to herself as she sipped her tea and maybe it was for the better. She didn't need a man in her life if it was all going to end up as bitter as this relationship had. She had made a mistake. She had taken a risk and it hadn't paid off. Now it was time for her to lick her wounds and heal over. Putting down her mug, she reached out for the phone and dialled a number; Phil Hunter's number. Who else did Samantha Nixon turn to when she was in need?

* * *

Suzie Sim rolled out of bed and pushed her hair back out of her face. The curry she had eaten the previous night had been a bad idea, her stomach was reminding her of this fact now. Suzie rushed to the bathroom, emptying the contents of her stomach into the toilet. As she wiped her mouth she couldn't help wishing that she had someone who loved her and could be here with her right now. There hadn't been anyone in her life for a while now unless you counted her passionate one night stand with Zain two months ago. Her job was so important to her but it meant that she was beginning to sacrifice her friendships and potential relationships for it. She rinsed her mouth out with water and turned on the hot water for a shower.

"Time to lose some weight Suzie." She muttered to herself as she undressed and stepped under the hot spray of the shower.

* * *

Zain Nadir dropped his girlfriend of two weeks, Georgia Monroe, off at her work in one of the sky scraping office blocks in the centre of London. He gave Georgia a kiss on the lips before she got out of the car.

"See you tonight?" He asked as he pulled back from the kiss.

"Yeah. See you later Zain." Georgia replied, getting out of his car and heading into work.

Zain drove off and headed towards the station. It wasn't Georgia that he was thinking about as he wound through the traffic though. She seemed nice enough and being with her was a laugh but to Zain she was just a subsitute for the woman he couldn't have. His friendship with Suzie seemed to be back on track but there was still a lot of unresolved tension going on between them. Suzie knew that Zain was dating someone knew and she pretended to be happy for him but he saw straight through her.

* * *

"What time of day do you call this?" Terry asked jokingly as Suzie walked into work.

"Shut it Terry." She replied slowly, really wasn't in the mood for this right now.

Terry raised his hands in defence. "Sorry for breathing." He muttered under his breath.

"What are we working on?" Suzie asked, eager to get down to work so that she could concentrate on something other than how she was feeling.

* * *

"Are you sure that you're okay to go into work?" Phil asked.

Sam laughed. "I had a bad break up Phil, that's all, I just needed a shoulder to cry on."

Phil smiled. "Well you know where it is if you need it again."

"Yeah, thank you Phil." Sam sighed, looking deep into his eyes. "I don't know what I'd do without you sometimes."

"Only sometimes?" He joked, then became serious. "It's what friends are for Sam." He planted a soft kiss on her forehead and stood up. "I'll see you at work."

Sam nodded, watching him go before subconsciously touching the spot where Phil had kissed her.

* * *

"You alright Zain?" Phil asked a while later at work.

Zain Nadir looked up from his desk where he was searching for a specific file.

"Yes thanks, if you ignore the fact that I'm stuck working with Stuart 'the sun shines out of my butt' Turner."

Phil laughed, then stopped abruptly.

"When I get my hands on him..." He seethed.

Zain rolled his eyes. "What's he done this time?"

"Sam." He replied. "They had this huge fight and he left her. Well, I think she threw him out actually."

"Good for her." Zain muttered. "You know what they say about lovers and co-workers."

"No. What?"

"Doesn't matter." He replied, thinking about Suzie again. "I'd better get going, wouldn't want to keep Stewy-boy waiting."

* * *

Later that day DS Stuart Turner was driving them back to the station when Zain's mobile phone began to ring. The number on the display was Terry's.

"Hi Terry." Zain answered.

"Zain, you need to get down to St Hughes now." Terry's voice was deadly serious. "It's Suzie."


	5. Miracle

**Dirty Little Secret  
Chapter 5: Miracle**

**Thanks to: Emma, Emz, Bex, Lornz, Sarah, Leanne, Laura and Newsteadgirl for reviewing:D  
Please review this chapter! Chapter 6 coming soon!!  
Vikki xxx

* * *

**

_When we live such fragile lives_

_It's the best way we survive_

_I go around a time or two_

_Just to waste my time with you._

Zain didn't need telling twice. He ended the call and picked up his jacket. Muttering something uncoherent about going to the hospital to DS Turner he exited the office and took the stairs two at a time. Panic was building up inside of him as the adrenaline forced it's way through his bloodsteam. He could think of nothing else but Suzie and what might be wrong with her. It was now that he realised that even though he was with Georgia it was Suzie that he really loved. The journey to St Hughes was a blur and as Zain pulled up outside the hospital he realised that he barely remembered any of the details of the journey at all.

Walking into the reception area he showed his warrant card to the receptionist and asked to know where Suzie Sim was. He didn't think twice when the woman told him that she could be found in the maternity wing of the hospital. The first thing on his mind was seeing Suzie to make sure that she was going to be alright.

"Suzie Sim?" Zain asked as he approached the nurses station. He showed his warrant card again which speeded up the process.

"I'm sorry Detective Nadir but Suzie is in recovery at the moment and we can't permit her to have any visitors." A pretty blonde nurse told him.

Zain sighed. "Look, it's really important I need to see her."

"I'm sorry but we can't let you do that."

"Can you at least tell me what is wrong?"

The nurse shook her head. "Sorry, that's confidential information and if you're not a family member..."

"Fine." Zain snapped, trying to keep control of his mood. Losing it with the nurse wouldn't help his case. Instead he took out a business card and handed it to the nurse. "Call me when I can come and see her."

He left the hospital, the feeling of panic and worry still with him. Instead of driving back to work he headed into the centre of the city; towards Georgia's office.

* * *

"Can I get you a coffee?" Phil asked as soon as Sam entered the office.

"I'm okay thanks Phil." She smiled, heading for her desk. She was secretly pleased that Stuart didn't seem to be there. She may have stood up to him last night but she wasn't sure if she could do it again right now.

"You sure?" Phil said, making his way over to Sam's desk.

"Yes thanks." She assured him.

"If there's anything you need..."

"I'm fine Phil." She said, it came out a little harsher than she had first intended it to. He turned away, a hurt expression on his face. Sam sighed. "Look, I'm sorry Phil, I didn't mean to snap at you."

Phil turned back. "I guess I was being kind of annoying." He admitted.

Sam smiled. "I would've have you any other way."

* * *

Suzie let the tears fall over her cheeks as she laid in the hospital bed, propped up by a mound of pillows. How could this be happening to her? This wasn't the kind of person she was? She couldn't be pregnant? She had never really thought about having children, not yet anyway, not until she was settled and married. She had never imagined herself as a single mother with a child that was the result of a one night stand. There was no doubt about it, she couldn't keep this baby. But what was she going to tell Zain? Was she going to tell him at all? She had made it clear that she hadn't wanted a relationship from him, was it best just to keep him in the dark. He had a new girlfriend now, would he even care if Suzie told him she was pregnant?

The nurses had told her that her baby would be just fine and were all smiles about it. Suzie just couldn't be enthusiastic. She doubted whether she would make a good mother and she didn't want to risk her career either. Suzie wiped her tears away but they kept coming. She needed to talk to someone but who? Her parents wouldn't understand and she doubted whether or not they would be supportive at all. Telling Zain was out of the question and the last thing she wanted was for it get around at work. Sun Hill was like a rumour mill at the best of times. She sighed, placing her hands on her stomach. How was she going to get out of this mess?

* * *

"There's a man downstairs to see you." One of Georgia's colleagues told her, knocking on the door of her modern office.

"Thanks Dave." She said. "Did he leave a name?"

Dave looked blank. "Oh yeah, um...something foreign if that helps."

Georgia smiled to herself, Dave meant well but he was hardly the sharpest pencil in the box. She stood up from behind her desk and headed downstairs.

"Zain!" She said in surprise as her boyfriend turned around to face her. "What are you doing here?"

The tension in his face and eyes was obvious. "I wanted to see you." He admitted.

"Do you want to come up to my office?"

Zain nodded that was exactly what he wanted.

* * *

"Let me buy you lunch." Sam said, standing over Phil's desk.

Phil looked up from where he had been engrossed in his work.

"I'd like that, but only if you let me pay."

Sam rolled her eyes. "Always the perfect gentleman."

"Well, I do try." Phil replied with a grin.

It was true, he did try and it was all for Sam's benefit. She had known him back when he was a philandering womaniser but now he had changed and showed his softer side much more often. It meant that he had more friends and that he was now closer to Sam.

* * *

Suzie healed more quickly than the nurses had expected her to and was discharged later the same day. She was given the rest of the week off work but this was the last thing that she wanted. A week of thinking about whether or not to abort the baby or whether or not to tell Zain was her idea of hell. At least if she was at work she would be able to concentrate on other things. She went upstairs to her bedroom and changed out of her suit, as she undressed she looked at her bare stomach in the mirror. There was a life in there, it was a miracle really and Suzie had no idea what to do next. She had never felt so lost before. 


	6. Surprises

**Dirty Little Secret  
Chapter 6 : Surprises**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. Especially Leanne for betaing!  
Please review! Vikki xx.**

_

* * *

_

The way she feels inside

_Those thoughts I cant deny_

_These sleeping dogs won't lie_

_And all I've tried to hide is eating me apart_

_Trace this life out._

A sharp, loud knock on the office door caused Zain and Georgia to spring apart with guilty look on their faces.

"Just a minute." Georgia called, recovering herself more quickly than Zain. Clearly she was used to situations like this. She quickly buttoned up her blouse and smoothed down her hair while Zain fumbled with his shirt buttons.

"Come in!" She called, when they were both dressed. Zain slipped out of the room and felt guilty. More time had passed than he thought and he hadn't rung the hospital. He stopped outside the office and pulled out his mobile phone. He dialled the number for the hospital and waited.

"St Hughes hospital, how can I help you?" A voice answered.

"This is DC Zain Nadir from Sun Hill Police, please can you give me an update on the condition of my colleague DC Suzie Sim?"

"I'm sorry Constable but we can't do that. I can tell you that she was sent home earlier on."

"Thank you." Zain said hurriedly before hanging up. He bought a bunch of flowers from a florist on the way back to the station and then headed to Suzie's house.

* * *

Phil took Sam to a café off the High Street for lunch. They chose a corner table that gave them a view of the park.

"It's really nice here." Sam said as they took their seats. "Thank you."

Phil smiled. "Well it was a hard choice really, between lunch here or chips in the canteen."

Sam laughed lightly. In truth she wouldn't have minded. The attraction between her and Phil was growing and she hoped that he felt it too. Although her relationship with Stuart had just ended and she wanted to be alone for now, Phil's company was really helping her.

* * *

Suzie pulled herself up out of her bed and slowly headed downstairs when she heard the doorbell ring. She opened the door was suprised to find herself face to face with Zain and a bunch of pink roses.

"Hi, can I come in?" He asked, a little shyly. He handed the flowers to Suzie who took them gratefully.

Suzie took the flowers through to the kitchen and filled the kettle. Zain followed her.

"Let me do that." He told her. "You should rest."

Suzie sighed and went through to the living room and took a seat on the sofa. A few minutes later Zain joined her with two mugs of coffee.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, taking the seat next to her.

"Not so bad thanks." She replied, not revealing anything else.

"What was wrong?" Zain asked.

Suzie paused, she didn't want to lie but she knew she had no choice.

"Food poisoning." She lied, at least it would explain the sickness.

"Oh okay." Zain replied. "I hope you feel better soon."

"Thanks Zain." Suzie smiled.

Zain turned to face her. Painful and pleasant memories came to him. He remembered the night they had spent together and had to suppress a smile. He leant closer, his lips brushing against hers. He caught them in a lingering kiss but Suzie pushed him away. At any other time she may have welcomed this but not now.

"I'm sorry." She apologised. "But you should go now."

Feeling hurt and confused Zain left her house. Suzie hated not being able to tell him the real reason for her rejection.

* * *

Sam and Phil walked back to the station together after lunch. It felt strange to Sam, like they were a real couple rather than just friends. It took all of her self control to stop herself from taking his hand in hers. She knew it was wrong but seeking comfort with Phil after everything she had been through with Stuart didn't seem such a bad idea. They walked together, both lost in thoughts which were scarily similar.

* * *

Suzie dried her eyes and pushed herself up from the sofa where she had been laying since she had asked Zain to go. She reached out for her mobile phone and dialled Sam's number. She couldn't think of who else to call and she needed someone to talk to. Suzie still didn't know what she was going to do but by talking about hopefully she would be able to come to some kind of decision.

"Hello?" Sam answered, stopping Suzie mid thought.

"Sam, it's Suzie. I wondered if you could come over, I really need someone to talk to."

There was a pause on the other end of the line and then Sam's voice replied in a soothing tone.

"I'll be right over, okay?" She had sensed the urgency and emotion in Suzie's voice and had felt bad for her.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Sam pulled up outside Suzie's house and found a parking space. When she rang the doorbell she came face to face with Suzie dressed in her pyjamas and looking decidedly worse for wear. Sam hugged her quickly.

"What's up Suze?" She asked, entering the house and shedding her coat.

Suzie looked like she was on the verge of tears and lead Sam through to the living room. They took seats at opposite ends of the three seater sofa.

"I don't know if you heard by I was taken to hospital earlier." Suzie began but didn't give Sam time to reply. "Well, they found out that I was pregnant."

Sam reached out for Suzie's hand. She cleared her throat in preparation to continue speaking.

"Sam, I don't know what to do."

Sam looked at her friend sympathetically. This must be so hard for her and she could only imagine what Suzie was going through. She knew how much Suzie's career meant to her and how determined she was to succeed, having a baby could ruin all of her dreams but she also knew that Suzie wasn't someone who would turn down a challenge. Sam couldn't see Suzie having an abortion, it would seem so out of character.

"Have you told the father?" Sam asked.

Suzie's eyes filled with tears and she held onto Sam's hand more tightly.

"Sam, the father is Zain."


	7. In My Own Time

**Dirty Little Secret  
Chapter 7: In My Own Time**

**Sorry for taking ages to update! This chapter seems very SP orientated as well, they'll probably be more SZ interaction next chapter.  
Please Review! Vikki xx

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Sam was more shocked by this news than she thought she would be. In the back of her mind she had suspected that something might have been going on between Suzie and Zain for a while now, even Phil shared her suspicions. She tried to keep her facial expression neutral as it was obvious to her how upset Suzie was already.

"Are you going to tell him?" Sam asked, after pausing for a few moments to get used to the idea and let it sink in.

Suzie opened her mouth to speak but closed it again before any words could come out. She just sighed and looked at the floor, eager to avoid Sam's piercing green eyes.

Sam's heart went out to Suzie; it was hard for her to see her friend going through something as difficult as this. Zain was her colleague and friend too though and Sam believed he had a right to know that Suzie was carrying his unborn child.

"He deserves to know." Sam pressed gently when it became clear that Suzie wasn't ready to answer her question.

She sighed again. "I know." She said, brushing a tear from the corner of her eye with the sleeve of her pyjama top. "And I will, but it has to be in my own time."

* * *

"You alright mate?" Phil asked as Zain walked into the CID office with a faraway look on his face.

Zain grunted in response and continued the journey towards his desk.

Phil blinked and then followed him; something was up with Zain; that much was obvious to him.

"You sure?" He asked, standing over Zain's desk.

"Yes!" He snapped a little angrier than he had intended.

"Okay, forget I asked." Phil said, getting the hint and heading back to his own desk.

* * *

"Hey." Sam said, arriving back at work an hour later. Phil looked up from his desk and smiled.

"Hiya, you okay?" He asked.

Sam sighed and perched on the nearest chair she could find. She hesitated before replying to Phil's question. Phil sensed her hesitation and his expression became more concerned.

"Yeah, I'm alright." She said eventually, convincing neither Phil nor herself.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Phil asked, sensing that there was something that she was holding back.

Sam looked up and was about to confide in Phil when she saw Zain cross the room. She quickly looked down again; the last thing she wanted was to pretend to Zain that everything was normal.

"Not here." She said, standing up and preparing to head to her desk. "Not now."

"Let me make you dinner." Phil suggested on the spur of the moment. "Tonight, at my place."

Sam didn't have any strength left in her to argue with him.

* * *

Zain couldn't explain exactly how he knew but he sensed that Sam knew what was wrong with Suzie although she wasn't letting on. The way she had looked at him just now seemed to give it away. But if there was something seriously wrong with Suzie why wouldn't she be able to tell him. Although things had been a little rocky after they had agreed to be just friends they were still closer than Sam and Suzie had ever been. It confused him and Zain spent a good deal of the afternoon thinking about it. The never-ending pile of paperwork on his desk was doing nothing to distract his attention from the situation either.

* * *

Suzie reached for the tissue box once more and found that it was now empty. She knew her hormones would be going into overdrive now that she was pregnant but this was ridiculous. She still had no idea what she was going to do about the baby. She had promised Sam that she would tell Zain but every time she thought about it she felt physically sick and that was nothing do with the pregnancy. Suzie didn't want to keep the baby; it would be hard trying to fit in motherhood and a career that she hoped would develop. At the same time Suzie couldn't go through with an abortion, it seemed unfair and went against all of her principles. She also knew that there was no way she could terminate her baby without telling Zain. Suzie didn't know exactly how Zain felt about her but she was sure that he would find the idea of an abortion as hard as she was. He had a right to know but Suzie just didn't know how she was going to break the news to him.

* * *

Sam headed home after work and took a quick shower. Phil had asked her to get to his house for seven o'clock which gave her just enough time to shower, change into something other than a suit and apply more make up than she would wear for an average day at the office. She was having second thoughts though, about having dinner with Phil and about confiding in him about Suzie. She trusted Phil enough to know that he wouldn't tell anyone but she also felt that she was betraying her friend's confidence. She tried to put these thoughts out of her head by wondering what Phil was making them for dinner. They had known each other for almost five years now but in that time she had never eaten a meal cooked by him. Over the years they had shared takeaways and gone out for coffee together but having a home cooked meal together was something new for them both.

Sam parked her car just down the road from Phil's house and walked the rest of the way to his front door. The evening was still warm and Sam breathed in deeply as she headed down Phil's drive. She found herself feeling a little nervous and apprehensive as she pressed the doorbell but she tried to shake the feelings off.

Phil answered the door, his face slightly flushed and his white shirt open at the neck. When he grinned at her Sam couldn't help but smile back and she almost forgot the real reason she was here.

"Come in, come in." Phil said, sensing a moment's hesitation from Sam. She smiled and followed him inside, wonderful smells coming from the kitchen. Phil showed her to the dining room that connected the kitchen and the living room together. He had really made an effort tonight; the table was set for two with gleaming cutlery and a bottle of red wine chilling for them. Phil pulled out a chair and Sam sat down, smiling at him before watching him head back to the kitchen with a conspiratorial wink. Sam felt herself relaxing but she was still dreading telling Phil about Suzie, however she knew that Suzie must be having more trouble summoning the courage to talk to Zain.

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